Until Found
by Darksknight
Summary: (Drabble) She'd never wanted to go outside the walls as a child like Armin and Eren. She'd had enough- her family had always been enough; each one. "Not again... please... not again... Don't take my family away!"


For Unattainable Dream's prompt exchange. Prompt: stone, field, sword **[Sent by syriala]**

(unedited.)

Okay, so this is a bit stupid, honestly, and not my best work. I may re-visit this, but for now it's a drabble (I guess) and so here it is! I don't find Mikasa to be a weak or dependant character in the least, but people were going on about how she's an emotionless bitch. (WHICH SHE IS NOT.) And so I figured it was time for a bit of emotional Mikasa fanfiction. I don't know ether. Anyway, enjoy, and I can't wait to read your reviews!

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When she had been younger, Mikasa hadn't dreamed about the world like Armin and Eren had. It had been a very long time ago- childhood- but she remembered being content to the woods and her family. It was land aplenty, and her family was all she would ever need, so why would she ever need to see anything more?

"Not again…"

Back in those days, everything had been perfect. She smiled and laughed, and her parents doted upon her with love and tenderness, and all she knew in the world was the perfect serenade of a calm and happy living.

"Please."

Eren and Armin had been thrown into a world of darkness when the Titans attacked- she had been yanked from her own sanctuary long before that, in a way almost more brutal, because it was by her own kind.

"Not again."

The pain was familiar- a stone of dread in the pits of her stomach. It bounced and weighed her down, pulled at her insides, and it never really left so much as it found a solid place to settle where, for a time, it would go unnoticed.

"Don't take my family away!"

It was in that moment, in the middle of a field, that the pain came rolling back to Mikasa. She could remember it when her family was murdered. She could strongly recall it when Eren had been eaten. But no matter how many times she had felt the pain, it was always staggeringly terrifying. In that field, she found it again, sure that they… they… they…

She couldn't believe it would happen. No reality would be so cruel to make her without anyone- not again. "Please… they have to be okay."

Her leg had cracked sharply against a stone when her horse threw her. She hadn't expected it, all had been calm, but then away her horse went with the others, the abnormal titan right after it.

_I'm talking to myself._ She thought. _I'm not doing any good. I have to move. I have to move!_

She stared at the stone, covered in blood, and watched as the crimson trickled down it and in between the cracks. The sun reflected of the blood, making it appear shiny, and the dirt coating the bottom made it look like it had naturally grown out of the earth.

_Move, move, **move!**_

She clutched the handles of each sword in her hands, trying to will herself to stand. Who knew when another titan would happen upon her? She had to get moving, she needed to get up and run, but her leg hurt and she had hit her head hard enough to make things ring and go fuzzy just minutes ago…

She could hear screaming, very faintly, up ahead. One of the horses went racing about twenty feet from her, heading back towards the wall, half a body still barely riding on it…

"Eren…" She whispered.

She hadn't heard him sift. So he must be… he had to be… he couldn't be.

"Eren."

Though she willed it, he did not miraculously appear out of thin air. He was up with the others. And she was very, very, sure the others were all dead.

All that she had were her swords. One of them was cracked, though, in the middle. She could still count on the one- one blade was all she needed. She was strong; very strong, she could make it.

And still, all she had was the field, the blood-covered stone, and her sword.

_You have to fight! You have to move!_

She willed herself to stand, but all she could see was Eren behind her eyelids. She wondered where Armin was- she couldn't recall where in the formation he had been placed. She was sure he was alive, somehow, one of the childhood trio had to be okay. One of them, at least, would survive, right?

_Eren can't be dead, ether. He can't be._

Another two horses went racing by, these ones with living riders, and she felt a spark of hope flair up inside her chest. She heard them talking, but couldn't make out the words. She would call to them, she would live, she would get out of there and then she would see that her family was alive and everything was fine.

The thrumming in her skull had only gotten worse as her leg bled, and then-

Blackness.

She didn't know how much time passed before she woke again, in the middle of the field, still alive- somehow. It was night time out, and no one had recovered her. Far off to the right of her there was a horse standing, munching in the field like death wasn't just around the corner. She wondered if the rest of the formation was like her, laying around while the abnormal raced to cut the rest of the formation off from reaching their target. Which, of course, made no sense, but did anything in their world of horror make any sense anyway?

It was just her, the field, the stone, and her sword.

That's all there was.

The rock of pain in her stomach rolled, causing her to slam her eyes closed as her head flared in pain. She couldn't cry; she didn't have the time or the inclination. She had to get moving someone, she had to escape and find Eren, even if-

She was alone.

Just like before.

The pain was familiar, but that didn't mean she wasn't able to stand it.

_You have to move._

Even to herself, she didn't sound determined. What would Eren say?

_You have to move!_

She let out a sob, muffled by her face pressed into the dirt beneath her. Weakly, she stabbed her cracked blade down into the ground, using it to pull herself to the horse near her side. But as soon as she moved the horse let out a loud noise, bolting away from her, and then she was alone and hopeless again.

_Not again… not again…_

She couldn't help it as the tears did start coming. Her entire body was wracked with tremors as she tried to move forward, using her one working leg to push forward while she dragged with self-forward with her broken blade. The perfect one she kept at her side, thinking that maybe she could somehow use her 3D maneuver gear to pull herself forward, though she didn't want to run out of gas.

What if Armin hadn't made it? What if she was truly alone in the world? Why go through the effort of fighting if, even in the end, you wouldn't win? What was there to live for if she was alone?

Even as a child she had feared being alone, and now…

She sunk to the ground, breathing heavy, battling with herself. To move forward would be to live, but at what cost? She would rather give in, but then who would help humanity? She had an obligation not to just those she loved, but people she didn't know, people who needed liberation from the constant threat of invasion from the titans.

She heard the horse again, and her heart lifted, thinking maybe it had returned for her… but with another muffled cry of frustration she watched it gallop off towards where the groups had been scattered.

She must have blacked out again, because a little bit later the sky wasn't as dark; dawn was just about to break across the sky. She had awaken to the sound of not just one horse, but many, and… the sound of voices?

"Wait, wait, I think I see somebody." A younger man said.

_MOVE!_ She screamed at herself. _You have to fight! Fight!_

The group grew closer, and she barely lifted her head, the action taking all her effort. She could feel her limbs shaking and watched as spots of black danced in her vision, but she still pushed up, letting a sort of moan out of her lips to prove she wasn't dead. Not yet.

"I think it's Ackerman!" The man called.

It was like the heavens themselves had opened up: a choir of angels was singing, God was breathing wings to her feet and back, the world was light in hues she didn't know existed as her heart lifted. She heard it, then.

"Mikasa!"

Music to her ears, she found her tears coming hot and fast as not just Eren, but Armin, too, dismounted and ran to scoop her from the ground.

"Are you okay?"

"We'll fix your leg up, don't worry."

"I thought you died!"

She couldn't seem to stop her gentle smile from blooming over her face, looking back at the stone in the middle of that field. She held tightly onto her good sword, and to herself said, _I'm not alone. It's not just me and my sword._

She looked up to Eren, and then Armin, who were both still chatting away.

_They're okay… and I… I'm not alone. _She smiled weekly up at the two of them, heart pounding in happiness. _I'm never alone. And I'll never be alone again._


End file.
